haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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