The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
