He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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