why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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