pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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