just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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