You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
