i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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