hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't deserve a penis
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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