First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
