I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
