If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
