I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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