Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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