this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
