who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
