well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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