I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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