My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize