You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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