she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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