I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
