what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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