No stitches, just platelets and will power
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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