Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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