wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
