u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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