The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
