don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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