fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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