they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
