16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have tasted many bathrooms
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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