Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
