Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
