She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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