She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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