All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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