We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
