i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
