I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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