Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
