I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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