but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
