watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
