I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
