i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
