I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
