pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
God I need to hump something, right now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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