Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
