I think I died a long time ago.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
