There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
