I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
