He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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